a fairy in the kitchen
Saturday 1st January 2005.
Woke up this morning and went into the kitchen to turn the hob on (the oven is the only way to heat the flat these days) to find that the washing had been done. I left the kitchen in an almighty state last night, so I have no idea how it ended up being clean.
The pots, pans and cutlery are all piled, dry as a bone, on the side glinting in the sun as it shines through the kitchen window. I darn’t touch them in case of breaking the spell. The spell cast on me by whoever did this. It certainly was not I – not whilst I was concious at least.
I sat in the kitchen, for what I assume to be a while as I got through a pack of fags, wondering if Claire had come back as an act of kindness to help me out. However I quickly abandoned this idea as she does not know where I now live. Or so I know to my knowledge anyway. I am certainly not the carrier of all knowledge. I know jack shit in fact.
I thought I knew everything and that I were made of steel, impervious to everything. But yet I sat in my kitchen with my failing body crippled by a duo of years hell bent on reducing me to an infantile state. My steel frame is now riddled with holes, the skin beneath burnt with scars from the wars I’ve fought in and my memory banks are fried from the extra data I tried to cram in them.
The overload is complete and I awake this morning a new man. A rebooted creature, reborn from nothingness into an empty shell ready for a new year. The second half of this decade will be different. I’ve always thought that in order to truly know yourself you have to hit rock bottom.
Now that I’m sitting on this rock looking and living like a tramp, I realise that this rock is fucking cold and uncomfortable.
So, with that in mind; I’m out of here…that fucker better watch out and so too the electricity company!
—————————
I realise that this is a repeat of my thoughts on an earlier post but this is the proof that even by the next day (and year!) I was still resolved to get my life back on track. RDK 2010.
0 Responses to “a fairy in the kitchen”